Chapter 10: Worry and Waiting - January 1942 to July 1942

It's me again. It's been quite some time.

My subscription to this website lapsed, and unfortunately everything was lost. Before that, I had the opportunity to save all of the post data so that not everything was lost.

Because of the user-friendliness of Ghost, I will likely continue to use this site, which means back to the monthly subscription. I like the simplicity of Ghost, and haven't delved into the other features yet. I don't really feel they're necessary at present.

Since last I wrote, just over a year ago now on 5 February 2025, I have moved from Hawke's Bay to Wellington. I got a new job, which I'm liking quite a lot. The people I get to work with (yes, get to work with) are kind, friendly, and are a frequent source of entertainment. Things have been looking up, despite other troubles, but that's getting too personal.

This coming sunday, 8 March 2026, is international women's day. That seems as good a time as any to continue this.

We are recently passed the 1st of March, Granny's birthday. I still miss her. I still think about her a lot. I still kick myself after doing something that on later reflection I realise she would never have done. Her influence still lives strongly in my life.

I wish she could have met so many of the people I've met now in my life. The things I could ask her, and talk to her about. The things my friends in the present would have for her.

Here we go with chapter 10 folks, and remember the three rules -

1) Imagine people complexly. That driver who cut you off? That coworker who snapped at you? Your kid who yelled at you? Your parent who didn't really seem to care about what you had to say? They are going through just as much as you are with all of the internal dialogue that you experience. Do your best to cut them some slack. But still remember rule two...
2) Be good to yourself, because no one else is on the hook to do it.
3) Life is uncertain, no one is promised tomorrow. Eat your dessert first.

One of the hardest aspects of this war is coping with waiting and not knowing what is going on in other parts of the country, let alone the rest of the world. It is easy to stop worrying when you are directly involved in the action because your sole need is self-preservation and there is no time to think about anything else.

Scattered all over the world there must be people who are not directly involved in any action but are spending their lives wondering where the next blow is going to fall and how it will affect their lives. These people will mostly be women whose lives will be so drastically changed that they will never recover from the shattering thunderclaps of fate.

January 2nd
Mr Callard invited Barbara and I to go with him to see a new organ that has been invented. It is called a Hammond organ and involves totally new technology.
The notes are formed from the amplification of an electrical vibration. We walked from Oxted over the Downs to Woldingham where one of the inventors lives.

The keyboards are the same as a pipe organ but there the similarity ends. There are switches instead of stops and the cost of production is so much less that they envisage people having an organ in their own homes. I know Barbara is dreaming of that possibility.

It was all so interesting that for a time I forgot about Gordon getting into a pair of fur-lined trousers and pulling up two giant zip fasteners.
Then into a fur-lined jacket with an enormous collar, followed by a pair of boots with zips up their front. Barbara enjoyed dressing up in his flying outfit but I could not bring myself to put anything on, as those clothes could carry the seeds of his ultimate destruction.

I can picture his pinched face enclosed in the leather helmet with the intercommunication system fitted underneath the ear-flaps and his sensitive fingers encased in three pairs of gloves, fighting for control of a doomed machine.

January 6th
Dad is ill in bed with gastric influenza so I have a lot to do but I have just had time to read this letter from Gordon.

c/o 19, St. Clements Rd. Boscombe, Dorset.
1/1/42
Dear Margaret,
The journey yesterday was uneventful and nobody moaned about me being late. I
am still being rushed around but managed to collect six pounds pay this morning.

Smith’s are nearly out of diaries now but the enclosed one I think will be appreciated by you. The pencil is for marking linen. I had to bisect it to make a neat parcel.

As yet I have not been posted and there is a possibility you may see me on leave again in the near future, just a possibility!

Although this is to you especially I must include that I hope Barbara is recovering rapidly and that your latest evacuee Valerie is not proving too much of a handful. Please don’t forget to run the Velocette over with some oil to stop the rust. There does not seem much of interest for me to write about except that you’d better not send the portrait of Mary back to South Africa yet. See what she has to say first. I forgot to ask about my badge. Have you started it yet? If so do you think it will turn out well?

Tell Mum and Barbara I’ll write to them later in the week if I’m not rushed off my feet too much or if I’m not on leave again.

If I end this now it will catch the evening post, so cheerio for the present. Do your best at College this term.

With lots of love and good luck, from your brother Gordon

January 12th
Dad is much better today so I have taken the opportunity to go up the village to see if I can find any knicker elastic, but I have not had any luck, so we shall have to continue tying them up with tape. I am returning to Bristol tomorrow but Gordon has just caught me at home with his letter.

C/o Mrs Phillips, 21 Harvey Rd., Boscombe. 10/1/42

My Dear Margaret,
Many thanks for the letter received from you this morning, but pipe down about paying for anything I like to give you. You’ve earned anything that I like to give you but I am glad that you like the diary.

How is the Velo? I bought a new sparking plug today. That’s the queer thing about this place I can’t help spending money as I wander along the streets. It has definitely got to stop.

Don’t put the wind up me so much with your letters about Dad being stiff and cold. Do you think he caught the ‘flu from Joan? I do hope not. If you saw her letter to me I’m sure you’d change your mind about her having another boy. Any way tell me what grounds you have for suspicion. Has she said anything to you?

In her letter to me she explained in detail all the events of Sunday evening, down to the ‘Open Diapason’ and Tremulos. (Don’t blame me for the spellings, that is how she spelt them).

Actually she is rather like you with regard to letter writing. You know, long and flowing with something about everything. That’s how I like them.

There does not seem a lot to write about at the moment. I am still in Boscombe but this billet is good. The landlady hails from Ardingly!

Don’t shoot the line too much about the wings when you get back to college but concentrate on the work good and plenty!!!

Cheerio I must write to Barbara.
Lots of love from your brother Gordon

January 18th
I am now living with Mrs Andrews and Irene is sharing my room. Mrs Andrews is
French and her husband is the brother of one of Barbara’s school friend’s Mother. He should be coming home on leave tomorrow and he is an Army Major.

These digs are much farther from the University but we are paying much less and being better looked after as we are part of the family and get on well with the teen-age daughter Juliette.

It takes us about twenty minutes to walk over to the University from here and today during our walk it started to snow.

There are no facilities for our laundry so we send our dirty clothes home by parcel post once a week. In the return parcels Dad will put any garden produce available for Mrs Andrews.

January 31st
Gordon has been moved and I received this letter today.

R.107, C. Sqdn. Marine Court,
18/1/42 St. Leonards, Sussex

My Dear Margaret, I’m sorry not to have replied to your letter of the 13th but here are the reasons.

On Monday I applied for more leave and got Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I arrived home on Wednesday at 17.00 hrs. and spent the evening with Father, Mother and Barbara.
On Thursday Joan arrived at 10.00 hrs. and Barbara, she and I spent a day of snowballing and having fun in general. I wish you had been there, that would have made things just perfect. I took the motor-bike out and rode around a little, taking care not to dirty it after you had made such a good job of cleaning and oiling. Thanks.

After tea I went with Joan on the bus to her home. As usual I thoroughly enjoyed myself with her people and her Mother put four hot water bottles in my bed!! When I awoke Joan was ready to go to work so the good-bye was short and sweet. I then went down to have breakfast with her Mother, who by the way has been unwell.

This little operation lasted for one and half hours and I could hardly get out of my chair at the end of my breakfast. Said goodbye to her and went to the Manor to see Mr Stewart before leaving.
He showed me the insides of all the cars he has charge of, including a Rolls Royce Phantom 3. This has an aero engine and he gave me a sparking plug used in it to try out in the Velo. After missing my bus I arrived home just in time for dinner.

Friday I spent pottering about with Mother and Dad and Barbara saw me off on the 17.10 hrs Green Line. I caught the 19.30 hrs train from Waterloo, arriving at Bournemouth West about 23.30 hrs.
It was midnight when I signed in at the Rockdale. Then a sergeant came rushing in to tell me I was posted to Hastings, not to fly but to get us out of the way for a new intake.

Well after chasing around to get my kit I managed to catch the train which left yesterday at 12.30 hrs. We travelled along the coast and got to St. Leonards about 18.00 hrs.
The train was an R.A.F. special so do not wonder why it took so long!!! We are now in a great block of ultra-modern flats right on the sea front.
If only it was summer and the lifts were working I should be quite comfortable because my room is on the tenth floor and we have a private balcony accessible via two glass doors. But there are 160 steps !!! It is a good job I can lie in bed with nothing to do!

This dinner time I phoned Joan to give her the gen and ask her to phone the Highways Depot to get a message to Homelea.
Don’t forget to concentrate hard this term. I hope you like the two enclosed snaps.
I’m getting very cold now as there is no heating, so cheerio for the present.
Lots of love from your brother Gordon
P.S. Did Mum tell you about the latest cable from South Africa?

Two days later I got another letter from the same address, dated 23.1.42. He says

“Many thanks for the most welcome letters received from you yesterday. This will perhaps be the last one you will get from me for a time because it seems highly probable that I’ll be posted on Tuesday. So don’t write again until I give you my new address.

Yesterday I went to visit Mrs Binns. She has a very nice little house and treated me wonderfully. I have a permanent invite there any time. It takes me half an hour of brisk walking to
reach her home in Silver Hill. After that I went to have tea with Josie and Bob. It was Anne’s birthday (6) so you can imagine the crowd of screaming children.

This evening I am going to visit Violet. She lives at the other end of Hastings. So far Mum does not know of these visits. She will be pleased when I write and tell her all the news of them. Here in Hastings we are having bitter weather with a raging sea but not much snow. In Mother’s letter she says there are lots of snowdrifts round the house at home.
You must be pulling my leg about your exam results. To me you seem to be doing well in everything except Chemistry. A little less playing about in the lab. should result in a higher mark!!

Yes, I saw ‘Pimpernel Smith’ in Capetown and it is definitely a first class film. As yet I have not been to the pictures here but ‘Major Barbara’ is on tonight. That is another Leslie Howard and Wendy Hillier film. I must go and get paid now so cheerio.”

Irene and I have decided to do some Civil Defence work. She has signed up as a firewatcher for the University and I have signed up to take a First Aid Course so that I can work at a First Aid Post.

In my letter from Mum she says Ronnie Vine was on leave and he has changed ships. Previously he was patrolling the seas around Iceland and Greenland but he is now on H.M.S. Eagle which he thinks is going to the Mediterranean so it will be a bit warmer for him.

The Eagle is an aircraft carrier so perhaps they can take some Spitfires to Malta to help defend it. A letter has just been delivered with Gordon’s new address -
28.1.42 Sgts. Mess, No. 5 O.T.U., Chivenor, Nr. Barnstaple, Devon

My Dear Margaret,
This afternoon I sent off a telegram informing you of my whereabouts which is not so far from you. But I very much doubt if I will be able to get to Bristol because my course starts tomorrow and lasts 10 weeks and is very gruelling they say. The planes we fly are Bristol Beauforts which are very powerful and fast.

Actually there is not much to write about yet. When I settle down you will get more gen. My first impressions are far from pleasing.
All that I am keen about is the flying. Our quarters are very cold and muddy with awful dirt floors.
There is a ton of red tape here and I cannot get away into the town of Barnstaple very often because it is six miles away and the buses run once per hour.
I should get leave at the end and the journey to London is about six hours but it could be worse.

On Sunday I spent a very happy day. Perhaps Mum has told you about it already. Joan came to see me. She arrived at 12.00 hrs. We went to Violet’s for dinner and then to Mrs Binns for the afternoon. Everybody liked Joan and I was glad she created such a good impression. I went with her as far as Lewes and put her on a train due to arrive in East Grinstead at 20.03 hrs.

On Saturday I sent a parcel home with some washing and some motor-cycle parts. Also included was my birthday present to Mother, an electric lantern which has two lights, one on the side which is a beam and another on the end which is a dome and can be used either way up. When I sent your wire I also sent one home but when I arrived in the mess the R.A.F. had forwarded a wire from Hastings which said the parcel had arrived safely.

I will end this now and post it so that maybe you will receive it tomorrow. Anyway I don’t trust myself to write any more about this place. Perhaps my feelings will change but at the moment I am feeling as you did when first arriving in Bristol.

Also the weather is absolutely dreadful which is not helping matters. However, I shall get my crew in another five weeks time and be the captain of an aircraft.

Cheerio and lots of love from your brother Gordon

February 7th
My First Aid lectures are most interesting and I am looking forward to completing
the course and going on duty.
Irene has already started and has found they are responsible for the Cathedral as well as the University buildings and Royal Fort.
In Royal Fort at supper time they put packets of fish and chips in the lift and send them up to the spotters on the roof.

Gordon suggested that as blood is often in short supply Irene and I could help the war effort by becoming blood donors.
We have discovered that the collection point is in the Royal Infirmary but we are still slightly hesitant as we are not sure exactly what happens.
I will ask Gordon in my next letter if he can give us more details.

I have another letter from Chivenor. It was written on 3.2.42 and says

“Thank you for your two letters received tonight and last Saturday night. As I really have not got right down to study I am finding time to write letters.

In spite of all your work I think it is a good thing for you to do the First Aid course and it is a job of work useful in wartime, so keep it up if possible. Your suggestion for Mother’s birthday present is very sound but it is too late. Did I tell you in my last letter I have already sent her an electric contraption with which she is very pleased.

With regard to Barbara I will send you one pound towards a tennis racquet and leave everything in your hands. But bear in mind Mr Clarke or Gertie might be able to get better value than you. Incidentally do you want me to send you money or buy you a present? The embroidered badge has not yet arrived but will do so any day I hope. I am looking forward to seeing what my design and your workmanship has produced. Keep up the hockey but not to the extent of jeopardising your studies!

About blood donors, there is nothing to it. All they do is take a syringe full of blood from your arm for a test. Then you will be grouped. I am in the universal group 4 which means I can take or give blood to anybody. For a donation the blood is also taken from the arm.

Now for my leave. Seeing that you will probably be on holiday when I get my 14 days (I hope) which is about April 9th, it will not be much use us trying to see each other while I am here do you think? One thing though, half way through the course I get a week-end pass. If after enquiring about trains I find I cannot get home do you think I could spend it in Bristol?

Now about Joan. Thanks for the private and confidential bit but I had already written and told Mother that after the first time I would not send her messages via Joan. The reason Joan has not been over home is because she is in bed with tonsillitis and has a temperature of 103. When I phoned yesterday her mother said she would be about again soon. She said there was a lot of snow about.

Anyway I am doing my best to make my family and future fiancée feel at home with each other. In tonight’s letter from Joan was the answer to a question I have asked her.
It has taken her quite a time to make up her mind but on February 17th she will be my fiancée. You are the first to hear so please do not tell Mum until I have written to her.

I know that my job is not one that encourages marriage, but there is another side to the question. Have your happiness while you can and that cannot be ignored. In closing this topic I will say if you and my people do not approve please do not make things too uncomfortable for us.

In signing off let me say that I love flying these Beauforts and hope to go solo any day now. It is really grand to DRIVE a real aeroplane.

Cheerio lots of love from Gordon.

My hockey is going well and I sometimes play centre forward and otherwise I am the left inner. I managed to get down to the Red Cross rooms to buy some air force blue wool to knit a pullover for Gordon.
If you sign that it is for a serviceman and take the same amount of wool to knit something for the Red Cross then you can have the wool for half the usual number of coupons.
I also bought a knitting pattern for a brassiere that they had. I expect it will be difficult to find the artificial silk to knit it with but I know Barbara can do with some extra bras.

February 14th
Gordon is still at Chivenor and his latest letter was written on 10.2.42.

My Dear Margaret,
I have two letters from you. Many thanks for both especially the one received yesterday.

Still the course has not got going and I seem to spend most of my time writing letters to various people. As a matter of fact the awful weather has been holding up flying, but as for lectures, they are a scream.
Hardly anyone turns up and I have not been to any lately because I have been attending ‘courts of enquiry’ into flying accidents.
By the way after I last wrote another kite went under, killing its crew of four. But don’t worry. After that, night flying has been stopped till the planes are equipped with more powerful engines.

They won’t let me do my solo until I’ve done 6 hrs dual. I could have gone after 3 hrs otherwise, as I am very good.

This afternoon we went up and my instructor sat in the gun turret while I did three circuits and landings. So you see I could have been on my own. However, I have got in another 50 mins and he is coming down tomorrow morning specially to give me another run round, then off I go I hope.

The weather is the main thing that can be nasty and if we go on like this there will definitely be no week-end pass in the middle of the course.

In answer to your first letter, no we have to be careful when flying near Bristol because of the barrage balloons. I have not read ‘Fighter Pilot’ yet.
What you ought to read is ‘Torpedo Bomber Pilot’ when it is released. And don’t keep harping on Malaya so much. I’m staying in England now, see.

About this wool you have bought. If you are thinking of knitting me a pullover, please make it a cable-stitch with long sleeves and a roll collar if possible.
Don’t you think a baby seal will look a little out of place in a house of mine?
Can’t you get a pair to the sailing ship or a nice country picture. Those are the ones I love most. Winding lanes and little old thatched cottages with sunset and things.

Did I thank you for the badge? If not I do so very much, although I should have given you the colours I wanted. However, I’ve sent it home for modification. I’ve also sent some silks I managed to get but probably Mum will tell you all about it.

I had a letter from Uncle Jim on Saturday, full of information. It was almost like one of yours that I used to get in South Africa. Most of it was in answer to one I sent him which was sent back to me after I sent it to his bombed out address.

Yes, you are correct in your letter. Things do look different in writing. I do not think you are interfering and in spite of acting at my own discretion, my decisions can be quite easily influenced by sensible suggestions from Dad, Mum or you. And even Barbara is becoming very much a thinking person.

I can wish for nothing better than a complete unison between my family and my fiancee, especially between her and my Mother and sisters. Also between my family and hers. This will I think turn out quite satisfactory when I can arrange a meeting between the two families.

As I read your letter a queer thing became apparent which made me feel quite happy.
You asked for Joan’s address and birthday. Well, she has been worrying about my first solo so tonight I rang her to say everything is O.K. and she asked me for your address because she thinks you are lonely and would welcome a letter from her.
I am going to send her your letter to me to read as it is particularly suitable to the occasion, so once more many thanks for that letter.
If you feel like it just drop her a card for her birthday which is on Feb. 17th. She is 21 then.
Ah, I have just the thing! I have bought two birthday cards for her but must make my choice as both are so suitable, so here isthe answer.
You can send the other one. Quite a good wangle that, don’t you think, but keep it under your hat. The address is East Court Cottages, Lawes Rd., East Grinstead.

In this letter I am also enclosing money for you and Barbara. I know it is early but now I do not have to worry if the balloon goes up. Fill in the postal orders as you want them.
By the way, if Bristol’s balloons are down and the University Tower is really 200 ft. high you can expect me over at any time. Since Beauforts are 9-ton aircraft it will shake the town a bit, so you will know I am around.

Today I received a parcel from home with some cheese biscuits and my football boots. There was a nice letter from Mum telling me to be careful about rushing into marriage. However, I am sure she will tell you what she thinks, so you can pass it on to me as it helps a lot to talk quietly between a brother and sister. I’d better end now. Excuse mistakes but it is very cold in here and I want to get into bed to get warm.

Goodnight and God bless you, your loving brother, Gordon
P.S. I’ve bought two more organ books. You will see them when we’re home again.

Irene and I went to have our lunch at the British Restaurant today. It is only 1/6d for soup, main course and coffee, so with my reduction in the cost of my board I can afford to get a lunch every day.
There is a set menu and you have to serve yourself, but the food is good and it is very clean.

February 21st
I have bought a King’s College blazer. It is my birthday present from Mum, Dad and Gordon. The badge on the pocket is magnificent. The royal lion above a padded red velvet crown, decorated with gold wire.

As I am doing so well at hockey, by the end of my time at College I should be replacing it with the badge of the Royal Coat of Arms, because that is what you are given for sports colours.

As there was no match this afternoon we have all been out with a barrel organ collecting for charity. The Bristol Zoo lent us a monkey to sit on the top of it and taking turns to turn the handle and rattle the boxes was great fun, while the men’s team did the pushing because it was quite heavy.

February 23rd
I’ve found some Clarke’s Anchor stranded cotton so I can do some more
embroidery for Gordon.
In a letter from Mum she says Barbara has got the mumps but Gordon is all right as I had a letter from him today.

My Dear Margaret, Chivenor 19.2.42
Many thanks for your letter received on Tuesday and also for the church magazine
and King’s News, which arrived this lunch time.
You don’t owe me anything for Joan’s card. By the way I did send your last letter on to her and have her reply which is just the kind to expect from a couple of girls conspiring against a chap.

I should say thank you too for all the little hints you have given me with regard to Mother’s attitude.

This morning I had a letter-card from Joan telling me what a good time she had in London with her parents. They went to a show at the Palladium. Mum sent her a necklet so her birthday was a happy affair.

Well I have now got in quite a bit of flying time. 15 hrs and feel I have got the Beaufort ‘taped’. Today the clouds were very low and I nearly got lost through flying a long way inland.
I reckon we must have nearly reached Bristol. One of my room-mates had a lucky escape this morning when he crashed his Beaufort near Ilfracombe and got away with just a few bruises.

There was a large fire on the cliffs today when a hotel was burnt down. Had a birds-eye view from my plane and it certainly looked warm down there.

Do you know I received a letter from Megan today? It is surprising that she does not know of my engagement as this letter was still very loving but I suppose she will have to learn the truth now.

Our course has been extended by a fortnight so it looks as if I shall not be home at the same time as you, but we must put up with it.

With regard to the badge, Mother will tell you all about it when you get home. She will give you hints as to how you can modify it to be quite perfect.
Things are speeding up at last and my time is fully occupied especially the periods of flying.

I hope your studies are progressing well and that you continue to put up a good show on the hockey field. I am supposed to be playing centre-half for a station football team in a match against Bideford on Saturday, which means I shall be crawling around on my knees next week because it is so long since I’ve played soccer.

I’ll close wishing all the best of luck, love from Gordon xxx

February 28th
We had a marvellous time in Bath today. There were two internationals in their
Hockey team, Biggs and Bryant and a draw was a pretty fair result.
Marjorie Pollard reffed the match and told me I must watch my feet as she had to blow me up far too often for ‘kicking’.

March 2nd
It was my birthday yesterday and as it was on a Sunday I didn’t get my letters and
cards until today. Gordon’s letter was written on 26.2.42 and he says

“This should reach you on Saturday and as your birthday is the following day I will wish you many happy returns of the day. I’m sorry there is no card but my next day off is March 7th and that could be a week-end leave.

There is not much to write about except that Mother does not seem to like my engagement. She met Joan’s Mother and Dad and unfortunately they were boasting about giving Joan a hundred pounds for her birthday present, so much to my disappointment the situation is a bit strained.

When I answered Mum’s letter I was feeling fed up too which made me write things that perhaps were a bit hard on her. I’ve also had another letter from Megan who now knows how things stand.

My flying time is now over 20 hrs. This place is so slow to organise anything that it makes me weep at the general inefficiency of our blundering war effort. All the boys are moaning about our treatment. After all flying is an important job and they should look after the men to keep them at maximum efficiency, but you ought to see the treatment we receive here.

Last Sunday evening I visited a little church on the hill north of the aerodrome. There was no Evensong but I found the verger in the church yard and he took me inside. Parts of the lovely little place are twelfth century and the old square tower has a peal of six bells.

When we got to the organ I persuaded him to pump it for me to play. It has two manuals and a pedal board with quite a few stops. I played hymns and it did sound so perfect. He is going to introduce me to the Vicar but I shall only be able to play when I can persuade somebody to go with me to pump.
Well I have one or two short letters to write so keep up the good work.”

My First Aid exam is next Wednesday. Some of the others are very worried about the practical part of it, but one advantage of being a Science student is I am now quite used to practical exams, although I can remember my fear about those first ones.

March 7th
Irene is confined to bed as I took her to the Doctor last night because she is very far from well. As she said she was all right on her own, I have been to Weston-super-Mare to play hockey and we won 5-2.

When I got back there was this letter for me.

Chivenor 2.3.42
My Dear Margaret,
Very many thanks for the most interesting letter received this morning. Did you
get the wire I sent you for your birthday? I am delighted you put the money to such good use and I am looking forward to seeing you in your Royal Blue splendour.

It appears that my fears about Joan’s and my family are unfounded because in a letter today Mum said things that made me feel quite happy this evening.
Everything that you pass on to me is treated with absolute secrecy and I do get a wider outlook from reading your little tips.
Mother should not worry about losing me as she has a place in my heart that nobody else can fill, as love of parents is different from love for a wife. Would you please send on Joan’s letter for me to read.

If all goes well I shall be home at the week-end by travelling on Friday night so that I can arrive early on Saturday morning and leaving late on Sunday night again. It is short but you know that it is worth it.
I’ll try and phone you on Wednesday so don’t write again until after the week-end. I’m just entering my final training, complete with crew and if I am to make a good Captain no time must be wasted in these coming weeks.

I shall take it as a personal favour if you work a hundred per cent and succeed in your ambition. That will be a proud day for me. Go to it Margaret and spend all your time studying. In Mum’s letter was a small piece of your birthday cake and as I ate it I wished you every success in your work.

My flying is going along pretty good but I know you will understand when I say I saw another pretty ghastly sight yesterday morning because you saw the results of a plane crash many times and like you I’m becoming used to such things.

Oh, I must tell you I’m very resplendent in a brand new aircrew outfit of battledress which has just been issued to me. There are three sets of huge silk-lined vests and pants. They are like those Dad wears and are called ‘Stella’.

I also have a white sweater reaching to my knees and tunic and trousers. Last night I spent hours sewing on my stripes and wings and then I wear my flying kit over the top of that lot. I also had to sew on my own buttons because the flying crews’ buttons are very special, as underneath each one is a concealed compass for use if we are shot down over enemy territory. We are only supposed to wear this outfit on flying duties but I shall wear it home the next time I go on leave.

Love and kisses from your brother Gordon xxx

March 10th
This morning we were all shocked to hear that the wife of Dr Davis died last night in childbirth. He is one of our Maths lecturers and as he lived near Coombe Dingle I knew his wife quite well because she came to watch us playing hockey there.

Altogether this has been a very bad day because this afternoon I was in trouble in the Physics laboratory.
Some of the strangers from the fourth floor were standing in front of the fuse board and as both Dr Pincherle and Dr Aharoni were busy talking to them I could not be bothered to wait for one of them to come and check my electrical circuit before throwing the switch.

Of course I was incorrect and with an awful crack all the fuses blew, even sending a couple of the porcelain holders flying past their ears. As they departed I heard one of the strangers remark “Well that’s one way of breaking up a scientific gossip.”

March 15th
The First Aid practical was postponed until today and I had no problems as I was given an electric shock victim (most appropriate), bandaging for varicose veins, a fracture of the fore-arm and the dressing and sling for a hand badly cut by flying glass.

March 18th
I’ve had toothache all day but I must wait until I get home to have anything done
about it. I cheered up when the post brought me a letter from Gordon.

Chivenor 13.3.42
My Dear Margaret,
I am feeling very miserable and these week-end passes are very upsetting.

Probably Mother has told you all about it. I managed to get home by 21.30 hrs on Friday and on Saturday I fixed all the new things on the Velocette, then at 12 noon I took it to collect Joan from her work.
We went to Tunbridge Wells to buy the ring. I said ten pounds and she said six pounds so we settled for eight pounds. Although you will be seeing it soon I will describe it to you. It is a diamond and sapphire cross-over which we both fell in love with.

Sunday was a lovely spring day and I woke up fairly early and went to meet Joan off the 9.30 a.m. bus but she was not on it so I walked up to see Mr and Mrs Chapman. When I got home Joan had arrived on the next bus and Mum had sent her up to Mr Chapman’s.
After chasing around I found her by the cricket ground. In the afternoon her Mother and Father came to have tea with us and Dad and Mr Stewart came to the station with me at 20.17 hrs. I got back here at 8.00 hrs the next morning and went for an hours flying.

I have not had any more flying until this morning when we started on formation flying. We have had fours hours at it and I have done a lot of ground operations with my crew too and they will start flying with me on Thursday.

I did try and telephone you but I could not get any answer so we shall have to stick to writing. I did not think Barbara looked very well when I was at home.
Keep at your studies. Lots of love from Gordon xxx

March 23rd
The end of term exams started today and as I am finding them hard going I was
pleased to find another letter from Gordon when I got back to Mrs Andrews. I will record it as it is very interesting.

Chivenor 20.3.42
My Dear Margaret,
I am now on real operational training flying and for the first time today I took my
crew out on a bombing exercise. It was great and the weather was perfect for it.

Last night I went night flying with them, or rather it was 4 o’clock this morning and tonight I’m on again at 23 hrs so I shall be briefed at 21 hrs. Last night I went out of camp for the first time since my 24 hr leave. I saw Spencer Tracey in “Men of Boytown”.

By the way did I tell you that I nearly got to Bristol last week. I saw Cardiff and quite a few other places. Incidentally you can’t do aerobatics in Beauforts but we can put up a spectacular display of formation flying.

I have ordered a copy of the music for ‘When Day is done’ because it is a great favourite of mine. I’m sorry everything is so rushed but I am in another of my rushed periods.
Lots of love from Gordon xxx

March 27th
I could not do the last examination which I sat for this morning so in the end I gave up and walked out and managed to get to the station in time to catch the 11.55 a.m. train. Mum was surprised when I arrived at 5 p.m. but I have not told her why I was able to get home so early.

April 14th
We are hoping that Gordon may be home tomorrow. I went to East Grinstead today and had two teeth out.

April 16th
Gordon and I went for a walk along the Gill this morning. As well as finding some
early primroses and violets we were able to have a good talk and I explained my difficulties with my studies. This afternoon I have been to the pictures with him and Joan and in two days I return to Bristol, so it will leave plenty of time for him and Joan to be together as he has quite a long leave.

April 25th
I’ve been to Victoria Rooms and the timetable for Intermediate Bachelor of Science
examination is already posted.

On the news they said that the island of Malta has been awarded the George Cross because the civilians there are suffering so much in its defence. There is very little food because the ships carrying supplies are sunk before they can be unloaded. I think Goering must have an endless supply of planes because we have been having more air raids here too.

I have found some combs in a little shop near Royal Fort. We were rationed to two each but I have told Irene as I know she said her sister needed one. I bought one for Mum as hers was down to the last few teeth as well as mine.

April 26th
Irene and I have been out all the afternoon, as Mrs Andrews was entertaining General De Gaulle, so she did not want us under her feet.
We have been nearly as far as Filton aerodrome and on the way I showed Irene Southmead Hospital which is where my First Aid post is situated.

May 2nd
I’ve found some interlock vests at 3/7d and some lisle stockings for 2/3d, so I have bought two of each for Mum as they are very difficult to get now.

Dr Henderson has offered to help me on Wednesday afternoons with my Maths.I hurriedly told him that I had no money, as I know that some of the other students are paying the lecturers for private lessons. He said “Miss Head my services are not for sale but I do like to help deserving cases and the only reward I want is a good mark in your final examination.”
It means the end of my first team hockey, as the team practice is on a Wednesday afternoon, but a degree is more important than hockey colours and I know there is a place for me in the second team even if I don’t attend any practices.
I’ve also resigned from the Music and Dramatic clubs because I shall need the time to do all the extra work that Dr Henderson will expect from me.

At last I have another letter from Gordon.

Abbotsinch, Paisley, Renfrewshire, Scotland 6.5.42
My Dear Margaret,
At last I have a few minutes to scribble a note telling you what is happening to me.
The time is 23.00 hrs and you know I am being worked - since we arrived here a week ago yesterday I’ve been flying, flying, flying.

Short trips out to sea, then making a four run torpedo attack 50 ft above the sea and back to base. It is awfully tiring and the vertical turns just on the surface of the water require terrific concentration.

Yesterday we commenced formation attacks which means the aircraft flying in line astern then turning to line abreast at the precise moment, otherwise you hit another aircraft. I don’t half sweat on these trips, but it is good fun and there is no
other job like it.

As for the aerodrome, it is awful, no runways and right inside the balloons and haze of Glasgow. Our landings have to be made through a forest of chimneys, derricks and high tension pylons but I still enjoy flying.

Oh, I have qualified on yet another aeroplane, the Blackburn Botha. This is not such a
dangerous plane as rumour makes out, although my hands do flutter about as the controls are in such queer places. Quite a lot of our flying is done in these aircraft and I am piling up flying hours now. This course at the rate we are going should end in a fortnight. There is no time off for pilots - 7 days a week and all day.

Don’t trouble to write back. Good luck, lots of love, Gordon xx

May 20th
An incendiary bomb fell in the road outside Mrs Andrew’s house in an air raid tonight but Irene dealt with it very efficiently. I have collected my entrance card from the office for the Intermediate Bachelor of Science examination. Dr Henderson is starting to sort out my maths problems so I am much happier now.

June 3rd
The inter exam started today with Chemistry. I haven’t had a letter from Gordon for ages and I hope he is all right.
After these examinations I shall be going home and then perhaps we shall have some news of him, but meanwhile I’d better concentrate on these exams.

June 4th
Yesterday I went to Brandon Hill to do my Physics revision. I had always wanted to see the place where the song “Oh no John” was set, as I always laugh at the way the sailor circumvented her Father’s instruction.

June 7th
Irene and I took a packed luncheon out to the Suspension Bridge and after eating it we walked across the bridge so that we can say we have been to Wales.
It is the first time I have seen the bridge and it is most impressive hanging above the Avon Gorge with the railway line so far below that the trains look like toys.

June 8th
I did not like the Chemistry paper that we had today and I have not done any Pure Maths revision this evening because I had to go up to Southmead for an interview with Dr Hartley, the superintendent, about my duties there next term.

June 9th
Wonderful! For the first time I was able to do every question on a Maths paper. I’m sure Dr Henderson will be well rewarded for his help.
This afternoon I joined the men in the lecture theatre where they were having a revision session for the Physics exam tomorrow.

June 11th
My case is packed and I have been to the office to collect the residue of my lab fees, so after my Physics practical examination tomorrow morning I can go straight to the station to catch my train home.
I have written to Mum to tell her the time it gets into Paddington so she will have some idea of when to expect me.

June 12th
I am completely shattered. As soon as I saw Dad and Uncle Fred waiting outside the barrier at Paddington I knew there was something wrong.
They refused to say what it was except that Gordon was not dead until we were sitting in the underground train and it was just as well because I doubt if my legs would have held me up when they told me Gordon was married last Saturday!
I would like to crawl away into a corner and cry but the house is full of relatives and there will be three of us in my bed tonight and another three in the same room on a mattress on the floor.

June 16th
Everybody has gone home and this afternoon I have been to Donald Turner’s wedding in Lingfield church. He is Mrs Chapman’s nephew whom she brought up from childhood when he was left with no parents.
He is also in the R.A.F. and I could see she is just as upset about his sudden marriage as I am about Gordon’s.
As soon as Donald returns from his honeymoon he will be posted to start on operations.

June 20th
Gordon came over from East Grinstead to see me. He was on his own so we were able to have a good shouting match, but in the end I had to admit that if he had told me about his marriage I would have abandoned my examinations and come home to be with him.
He thinks he is going to be posted to Malta and if the enemy doesn’t get him the aeroplane will, because Beauforts are very dangerous planes to fly. He is leaving the Velocette in my care and I have promised to keep writing to him.

July 8th
I have had a letter from Dr Henderson to say I have done very well in my Mathematics but not so well in Chemistry and he advises me to take a general honours degree with Physics, Pure and Applied Mathematics as my subjects.
This will give me a wider scope for teaching than a special honours degree.

Gordon has also written to me.

Lyneham, Swindon, Wilts. 2.7.42

My Dear Margaret,
Your most welcome letter arrived this morning, but I am still on tenterhooks until
the actual official gen comes through. However, thanks for the information, the prospect looks all right to me.

Glad you enjoyed yourself at King’s, a great pity Joan wasn’t able to go up to London with you. Exactly how do you stand now that you’ve as good as passed INTER? What is the next step? Do things become easier or harder and do you specialise in one subject now?

I have not got an aeroplane yet but I am number two on the list. There will be no more week-ends now but I may get home once more.

When I do go to Filton to pick up my plane, I’m going to try and visit Mrs Andrews. It all depends on the hold-up at Filton. Yesterday a couple of crews arrived safely at Gibraltar with their new planes and today some more left. Swindon is out of bounds to the R.A.F. now owing to an epidemic of smallpox in the town. However, there is still Chippenham to visit.

The telegram from home was all I received on my birthday and it was a fairly miserable day, just like last year.

I spend nearly all my time here sleeping and messing about because there is nothing else to do except wait. I would sooner have an aeroplane and be getting on with this war even if it does take me thousands of miles away. But it appears we are hoping to win the war by mucking about doing nothing. It looks as though it’s going to be a race as to who gets to Cairo first. Us or Rommel.

As I’ve no more to write of interest, Cheerio and let me know your official gen immediately.

Love from Gordon.
P.S. See if Perkins have any 620 film with the wooden spool.

July 19th
Dad is ill again and I have plenty to do helping with the ‘Works’. It is just as well
because three days ago we had a telegram from Gordon to say he had been posted, so now he is in the thick of it because the war news of Malta and North Africa is full of casualties and heavy fighting.